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Back | Finish
Rodney Dangerfield. Click image to enlarge.
According to Rodney:
My doctor's a very strange man. I said to him, Doc, what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?" He told me, "The taste."
My doctor told me he had good news and bad news. I said, "Doc, only tell me the good news." He said, All right, they're going to name a disease after you."
I mean, I'm not a kid anymore. I could go tomorrow. And I hope I go tomorrow. I haven't gone today, yet.
The last blind date I had, the girl was ugly. Only once in her life was she whistled at. It was right before the train hit her.
I finally figured out what my problem is. I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My old man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
The other night, a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a professional job. There was butter on it.
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way. I had it out.
With my wife I don't get any respect. I made a toast on her birthday to, "The best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me.
I asked my wife, "Last night, were you faking it?" She said, "No, I really was sleeping."
I went out with one girl. Man was she fat. I hit her with my car. She asked me, "Why didn't you go around me?" I told her, "I didn't have enough gas."
Rodney Dangerfield
by ALAN LINSKY
Kew Gardenites must take a few moments to reflect upon the life of Rodney
Dangerfield (w/k/a Jacob Cohen). Not only because he was one of the last and most
famous of the "one liner" comedians but, for a brief time in his childhood,
he was a resident of Kew Gardens.
The obituary columns of both the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times
agree that he was born in Babylon, New York. But only L.A. reports that he, his
sister and mother moved to a Queens neighborhood that he once recalled as being
"too rich for us" (presumably Kew Gardens). In the same interview he went on
to say that he had to deliver groceries to the back doors of the homes of kids
that he went to school with, and that it was embarrassing. Beyond that, he
remembered teachers making anti-Jewish remarks about him in front of the class.
I would imagine that this episode in his life occurred in the 1930's and I
believe his remarks to have some merit.
When my parents built our house on 83rd. Avenue in 1938 we were probably
among the first Jews in the area and, as nice as our next door neighbors were,
they would only talk to us over our back fences!
I cannot verify any anti-Semitic behavior at PS 99 merely because by the time
I attended (mid-forties) there were many Jewish teachers (Isadore Ellenport
and his wife, Clara Fuller, Rose Oshman and Gertrude Goldberg to name just a
few).
In any event, Mr. Dangerfield managed to overcome the trials and tribulations
of his early years and went on to enrich all of our lives with his unique
sense of humor.
My only personal (and very memorable) contact with him occurred some fifteen
years ago, and before we bought our winter home in Los Angeles.
I would often travel to the West Coast in connection with my business of
supplying antique vehicles for motion pictures and television, and would usually
stay at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills.
There were few nights that went by that there wasn't some gala event at the
hotel, and I enjoyed sitting in the lobby as the affairs ended to watch the
notables milling around waiting for their limos to be delivered to the door.
This particular evening the lobby was crowded with the usual formal wear when
along comes Rodney attired in a green and white polyester jogging suite with
sandals covering his feet, and a can of Tab in his hand. He was forced to pass
right by my chair and our eyes met, at which time I couldn't resist saying to
him "now I know why you don't get no respect" His response was "yeah, yeah"
and we both had a good laugh.
He was good people, and I'm glad I had the few seconds of time with him.
Al Linsky lived in Kew Gardens from 1938 to 1963 and attended P.S. 99 from 1944 to 1953. He is now retired, splitting his time between Brentwood, CA and Woodmere, NY. His avocation is as a broker of antique vehicles to the motion picture and television industry.